I can hardly believe that I’ve been in New Zealand for 6 weeks. SIX weeks? Really?! A month and a half? Then I realized, after doing some quick math, that having spent 6 weeks in New Zealand means that I have little over 8 months left.
That’s when I heard it. The threatening voice in my head asking “What could YOU possibly do in 8 months?”
It wasn’t a voice of love. It was the voice of Condemnation confirming my deep fear that this beautiful gift of New Zealand has somehow been given to the wrong person, that somehow, the blessing of living with this family, working in this community and being so well taken care of is being wasted on me, and that I won’t be able to do anything significant with my time here. And for a moment, I sat there helpless to answer Condemnation’s question. What COULD I do in 8 months?
I shared this question with my mom earlier tonight, and she didn’t hesitate with an answer. “Well I know what to say to that. What about Emily? Gail just sent you an email about her. That story shows that with Jesus you don’t need months or even hours to make an impact.”
My aunt Gail participates in a jail ministry in Clinton, Tennessee. She had invited me several times to accompany her to the jail and minister to the women there, but most of the time I turned her down. One particular day, however, I decided to go. I don’t remember what Gail talked about. I don’t remember what scripture we read. I don’t remember anything from that day, except Emily.
Emily, like most women in the jail, was brought in on charges of drug use and possession. Unlike most of the women, however, Emily’s appearance was not damaged by her drug usage. She was beautiful. And after Gail spoke, Emily approached Gail and said that she wanted to accept Jesus into her life. Gail turned to me and said, “Well, Pua would love to pray with you about that!”
um, what? All of these alarms were going off in my head! I couldn’t possibly do that! I wasn’t qualified! I didn’t know what exactly to pray, or what to say, or what to ask! I said a quick, “Jesus! Help!” prayer and walked with Emily over to her bed.
I don’t even remember what we prayed, but I know there were a lot of tears, and I know I spent most of the time holding her while she wept. Emily kept saying, “you’re so beautiful, you’re so beautiful. I see Jesus in you, I want that Jesus too! I just want Jesus!” The way she cried out for Jesus was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard.
In total, our conversation may have taken ten minutes because the visiting hours were over, and it was time for the Bible study ladies to leave. As I got up, Emily asked “what perfume are you wearing?” When I told her the name of it she just about fell off her bed. “I knew it! That’s the one I wear too! Whenever I wear it now I will think of you and pray for you!” When I left Emily, she looked radiant.
That was three years ago. And if I’m honest, over the course of three years, I may have prayed for Emily a total of 10 times. These prayers were usually preceded by Gail telling me that she saw Emily in the prison again for similar charges.
A week ago I received an email from Gail about Emily. She had seen Emily in the jail again, but this time Emily had great news. After a year of writing letters to a drug rehabilitation program, Emily had finally been awarded a place at the center. This facility is very unique because it offers a safe place for children of recovering addicts to stay while their parents are being treated. Emily is finally going to get the help she needed three years ago. What humbled me was what Emily told Gail.
“Whenever I see you, I feel close to Pua. I will never, ever forget her. I have thought of her so often these past three years, and I would be honored to pray for her (in New Zealand)!”
That’s when I heard it. The threatening voice in my head asking “What could YOU possibly do in 8 months?”
It wasn’t a voice of love. It was the voice of Condemnation confirming my deep fear that this beautiful gift of New Zealand has somehow been given to the wrong person, that somehow, the blessing of living with this family, working in this community and being so well taken care of is being wasted on me, and that I won’t be able to do anything significant with my time here. And for a moment, I sat there helpless to answer Condemnation’s question. What COULD I do in 8 months?
I shared this question with my mom earlier tonight, and she didn’t hesitate with an answer. “Well I know what to say to that. What about Emily? Gail just sent you an email about her. That story shows that with Jesus you don’t need months or even hours to make an impact.”
My aunt Gail participates in a jail ministry in Clinton, Tennessee. She had invited me several times to accompany her to the jail and minister to the women there, but most of the time I turned her down. One particular day, however, I decided to go. I don’t remember what Gail talked about. I don’t remember what scripture we read. I don’t remember anything from that day, except Emily.
Emily, like most women in the jail, was brought in on charges of drug use and possession. Unlike most of the women, however, Emily’s appearance was not damaged by her drug usage. She was beautiful. And after Gail spoke, Emily approached Gail and said that she wanted to accept Jesus into her life. Gail turned to me and said, “Well, Pua would love to pray with you about that!”
um, what? All of these alarms were going off in my head! I couldn’t possibly do that! I wasn’t qualified! I didn’t know what exactly to pray, or what to say, or what to ask! I said a quick, “Jesus! Help!” prayer and walked with Emily over to her bed.
I don’t even remember what we prayed, but I know there were a lot of tears, and I know I spent most of the time holding her while she wept. Emily kept saying, “you’re so beautiful, you’re so beautiful. I see Jesus in you, I want that Jesus too! I just want Jesus!” The way she cried out for Jesus was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard.
In total, our conversation may have taken ten minutes because the visiting hours were over, and it was time for the Bible study ladies to leave. As I got up, Emily asked “what perfume are you wearing?” When I told her the name of it she just about fell off her bed. “I knew it! That’s the one I wear too! Whenever I wear it now I will think of you and pray for you!” When I left Emily, she looked radiant.
That was three years ago. And if I’m honest, over the course of three years, I may have prayed for Emily a total of 10 times. These prayers were usually preceded by Gail telling me that she saw Emily in the prison again for similar charges.
A week ago I received an email from Gail about Emily. She had seen Emily in the jail again, but this time Emily had great news. After a year of writing letters to a drug rehabilitation program, Emily had finally been awarded a place at the center. This facility is very unique because it offers a safe place for children of recovering addicts to stay while their parents are being treated. Emily is finally going to get the help she needed three years ago. What humbled me was what Emily told Gail.
“Whenever I see you, I feel close to Pua. I will never, ever forget her. I have thought of her so often these past three years, and I would be honored to pray for her (in New Zealand)!”
Emily’s unforgettable experience at the jail three years ago had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with Jesus. In the kingdom of God, one small gesture of love can raise enormous waves of change, and one ten minute conversation can free drug addicts from their addiction.
There is no act too small. There is no time too short.
This is the truth being sung over me right now.
This is the truth being sung over me right now.
8 months? The entire nation of New Zealand can be impacted in 8 months. Let us press on in our work and let the Glory be God’s!
PuaNani
Prayer Requests:
1. God is really taking care of me feeling homesick! Although I miss home, I am no longer carrying a heavy heart around with me everywhere. Thank you for your prayers!
2. Next Monday, I will be on a panel of ‘Famous Athletes’ in Porirua in order for local high school students to ask us questions about what made us successful in our careers. (yea, I know, they must have run out of people to ask, ha ha) Please pray that I speak clearly and that God is glorified in that time.
3. On Tuesday, I will be sharing part of my testimony (the part related to my high school soccer injury) with the same group of high school students in Porirua. Please pray for the students and for my heart as well.
4. Praise God for his goodness, love and mercy.
5. I am speaking and dancing in front of the whole church on April 17th. All prayers are welcomed!
1. God is really taking care of me feeling homesick! Although I miss home, I am no longer carrying a heavy heart around with me everywhere. Thank you for your prayers!
2. Next Monday, I will be on a panel of ‘Famous Athletes’ in Porirua in order for local high school students to ask us questions about what made us successful in our careers. (yea, I know, they must have run out of people to ask, ha ha) Please pray that I speak clearly and that God is glorified in that time.
3. On Tuesday, I will be sharing part of my testimony (the part related to my high school soccer injury) with the same group of high school students in Porirua. Please pray for the students and for my heart as well.
4. Praise God for his goodness, love and mercy.
5. I am speaking and dancing in front of the whole church on April 17th. All prayers are welcomed!
I am thanking God for you!
(also, Emily is not the actual name of my friend. I kept her name confidential)
(also, Emily is not the actual name of my friend. I kept her name confidential)
dang, girl. how bout a KLEENEX ALERT!!??
ReplyDeletethankful for a mom who knows just how to encourage and for an aunt who faithfully invites. what a sweet and poignant ministry.
how interesting how His stories intersect. you have an incredible gift of storytelling and for living our His Kingdom call.
i am so blessed to hear of all that is transpiring in the life of pua. whether here in knoxville/tri cities or across the globe… you are kingdom building and through you i can see Aslan on the move.
my heart overflows with gratitude to the King for intersecting our stories. i love you sweet friend!